It Just Won't End

It's Sports Day at the school.

Mann... this is turning
out to be one of the worst Mondays ever.

I'm already pissed
that they didn't include me
in any of the teams.
Now don't get me wrong,
I would've refused to participate...
but it still sucks that they didn't even bother asking.

I was feeling dizzy in
the morning...
so I arrived more than an hour late.

To top it all off...
the one person I didn't wanna see...
I saw the moment I went past the gates.
Isn't that just perfect?

She was running for her team...
and even then she looked incredible.

Dammit.

I don't know, man...
now that it's pretty obvious she
works out,
it's like a clear indication
that there's no possible way she'd ever be into me.

She's smart, beautiful, athletic, successful.
And I'm, well...
you get the picture.

I already knew
my chances were slim
Very slim.

But still... again, ouch, you know?

And of course,
I actually gave up a better-paying
job with even better prospects
just to stay in this school...
and be near her.

What the hell is wrong with me?
Guys that act this way
make ME wanna kick THEIR asses.

I know I'm only doing this to myself.
She doesn't owe me anything.

I know that no matter how
hard you try...
there's no way to MAKE someone
fall for you.

Argh.
I sound so fucking 'emo'.
I hate fucking 'emo kids'.
What the fuck are they so 'emo'
about anyway?

What the fuck IS 'emo' to begin with?

And oh yeah,
right now, I'm just waiting to see
if the prosecutors will file charges.
If they do...
my life is pretty much over.

They do not have special cells
for the obsessive-compulsive.
I have no idea how I'd be able to survive in there.

The worst part?
They win.
After all they'd done to me...
I'm still going to lose.
I'll just have to wait and see how badly.

I'd also signed up
for the O-Levels this year.
Brilliant move, I know.

The exams will be held in a few months.

So let's recap.
I'm facing the real possibility of
doing hard time...

Taking important exams this year...

And who is constantly on my mind?
Dian.

Sheesh.
If you know
of any way to make
me stop feeling this way (MAN I hated saying that!)
feel free to let me know, eh?

That's enough for now.

Later