And The Prize For Being The Biggest Idiot Goes To...

9.48 pm.
In the hall.
And watching "Becker".
Good show.
Not great. But good.

Anyway, last night Dyla
finally got her pc and
we chatted on MSN all night.

Before we decided
to go out on our first date (shut up),
I remember telling her
that because she's still young,
I'd understand if she saw other
people at the same time.

Ofcourse, that was one hell of
a dumb thing to say.

So last night, I decided
to let her know that
I wanted us to be exclusive.
What?
I watch a lot of tv. Sue me.
And yes...
shut the hell up.

Thing is, she got the impression
that I thought she was avoiding me.
And she
seemed to get a little angry.

So yeah... there I was,
trying to apologise,
and feeling really bad.

And then, she told me.

Ah yes... she WAS avoiding me.
Kept putting off seeing me again...
because she still had feelings for her ex.
Still hoping that he
would come back and raise their child together.

That was ofcourse, was
awesome news for me.
Awesome.


Can't really blame her.
He is, after all, the father of her child.
Plus, after all that's happened between them...
so yeah.

At the time,
I didn't think much of it.
I was actually relieved that I wasn't just paranoid.

I'm still very much into her...
but after thinking about it...

That she still had feelings for ex,
still bothered me (I mean come on, I like her a LOT),
what's worse
is that she had lied to me.

I thought about
all the times she cancelled (or postponed, whatever)...
was her grandfather really sick?
Did her brother really break his leg?

I hate this feeling.
If all of those things
DID happen,
then I'm a jerk for thinking like this.

But I can't help it now!
Sheesh.

If only I could have hotcakes at night...

Back to the story.
She told me that she felt
really bad about it...
and gave me the impression
that she'd still like to go out with me.

I don't know, mann...
it's kinda hard when you've lost trust in someone.

Heck, I don't even
know if I can still be friends with her.
I like her way, waaaay too much.
(kiss my ass, ok?)

Thought about it all day.
Gonna think about it all night too.

And, to top it off,
I've got a practical test
this week, and written tests
in about 3 weeks.

Perfect.
Just perfect.

Oh yeah, and one
more time for the road...

FRENCH CHICKS??

heh.

Well, enough of that.