Drudgery

It's Saturday morning, and I am forcing myself to write something.

Maybe I'm lazy. Or maybe it's something else. Lately I've been feeling tired all the time. Having trouble even forming complete (and grammatically-correct) sentences.

Even when the others take the piss out of me in the office, and I want to respond... my mind just goes blank.
And for some insane, fucked-up reason, I give them a look of exasperation, with my palms outstretched, as if to say 'Oh hey, come on now, what did I do??'

Motherfucker.

And to think, at one point, I wanted to become a stand-up comedian.
Hell, I still do.
Yep. I'd get raped on stage, no doubt about it.
But I'd do it anyway.

So yeah, last week, I accidentally bumped into my soon-to-be-former Team Lead
at a cafeteria, having lunch with Patrick and Natalie.

Now I wanted to be alone. NOT to spend time with my fucking 'teammates' (except for Natalie)
who had gone out to lunch without inviting me.

Rebecca clearly has a crush on him, and invites him to all kinds of shit...
which I have nothing against.

But when you say things like 'So I'll see you after work, right?'
when I'm seated opposite him trying to work... it puts me in an awkward position.
Fucking inconsiderate bitch with manly features (trust me, she thinks she's hot)(but to me, she looks like a man).

So I was seated with the 3 of them for lunch,
and Natalie turns out to be pretty cool. I found her to be hilarious,
and yeah, she actually reminds me of an old friend of mine.

The only downside is that Natalie is a chick. Sadly, a cute one at that.
I have NEVER known someone like that to not have this kind of
shit attitude: 'He's talking to me. Yep. Clearly he wants me. Clearly. I am so hot.'


After lunch, I asked Rebecca for her Yahoo IM. I was hoping that maybe
she wouldn't get the wrong idea.
The next day, all I did was joke about how awesome lunch was.
She replied with 'Haha that's great.'
And then I continued working.

But what HAD to fucking happen?
I get Rebecca telling me to basically leave Natalie alone.
Like I was some kind of pervert. Yeah... CLEARLY I was harassing that stupid bitch.

Hey, ever heard of NOT replying? Fucking goddamn dumbass self-absorbed cunt bimbos.


The sooner I leave that shit-hole, the better.
I got less than 2 years left.
No sense in wasting time.

Acceptance

...is probably something I'll never experience. Even in everyday situations where I want to act a certain way,
my physical self goes against my wishes, and I end up doing or saying something that I regret.

No one else knows it. Not as far as I can tell. Hell, on the outside, everything looks just fucking peachy.
Why the hell must I feel this way? I probably some kind of disorder. Not crazy, though. Not yet, anyway.

One thing that I can find some solace in... and that's in less than 2 years, it'll all be over. Success or failure, it will end. Finally something that I can count on.

Brilliant

Dammit, man.
You just HAD to do it.

Even after all THAT,
you still don't realize that
she doesn't give a fuck about you?

Oh, you do.

Well, OK then.



Anyway,
I'm actually looking
forward to next Friday.

And it's only Saturday.
Sheesh.


Fuck all of you.
Have a nice day!

Why

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I Don't Think So

Well...
apparently ITE hasn't had enough of fucking with me, yet.

They recently contacted the Investigating Officer (who was assigned to my previous case)
to get him
to tell ME to shut down MY blog.

After getting clarification from him (I went into details this time),
as long I don't make any threats or shit like that,
having all these posts up can't be considered 'illegal'.

So guess when I'm taking this blog down?
NEVER.

Chew on that.


But since this blog is no longer 'personal',
I'ma start posting on a new one.

Well, enough of that.

Deferment

Well, seeing how my appeal
is pending,
there's nothing much the local newspapers can publish.
For now.

I'll just have to get back to them later.

For the time being, I've got a couple of things planned.

The hearing's on the 20th of February.

Ah... so much to do... so little time...

Same Old Topic

Well, I've finally managed to get a hold of the newspaper
itself...
and check it out: I got a whole page to myself.

Aaaaaand it's pretty much full of shit.

Not only did the reporter not bother
to interview ME,
he published pretty much everything they wanted him to.

The hell kinda reporter does that?
Oh yea... a shitty one.

Anyway, I'm gonna write him a letter,
and publish it on my blog.

It's 1am now, so I'll do it tomorrow.

And I'm hoping to talk to another reporter.
You know, a competent one.

I'll also talk more about the article later...
and clarify some points.

Later