Acceptance

...is probably something I'll never experience. Even in everyday situations where I want to act a certain way,
my physical self goes against my wishes, and I end up doing or saying something that I regret.

No one else knows it. Not as far as I can tell. Hell, on the outside, everything looks just fucking peachy.
Why the hell must I feel this way? I probably some kind of disorder. Not crazy, though. Not yet, anyway.

One thing that I can find some solace in... and that's in less than 2 years, it'll all be over. Success or failure, it will end. Finally something that I can count on.